The hardest thing I ever loved to do

The hardest thing I've ever loved to do

Was letting go of everything I ever knew

19 years of dreams left in my room

As I buttoned up the jacket of my suit

Deciding to come on a mission was a really hard decision for me. It took me a long time to finally receive an answer, and the answer I got was not the one I wanted. Nevertheless, I trusted that Heavenly Father knew what was best for me and I moved forward with faith even though at only 19 years I felt like I knew virtually nothing (I still don't). I turned in my mission papers and was later called to the Tennessee Nashville Mission.

The hardest thing I ever loved to say

Was goodbye to my mom and walk away

Choking on my tie and on my tears

I walked down the hall into those years

Saying goodbye to my dear family was hard. I missed my brother coming home from his mission by a month and saying bye to my parents by that curb was much more difficult than I anticipated. But despite that, I was really excited to enter the MTC. Somehow, I didn't fear the unknown, I was just filled with excitement and anticipation for what lay ahead for the next 18 months, even if I didn't know exactly what that entailed. 

And the sweetest song I ever loved to sing

Filled the MTC on angels wings.

And the chorus filled my soul 5000 strong

And I wished it would just go on and on

Singing with 5000 other missionaries (or more), all focused on the same purpose, all wearing name tags with Christ's name, all representatives of Jesus Christ - there's really no way to describe the special spirit that accompanies that. I have felt that spirit several times throughout my mission, especially singing "Called to Serve"  at the end of each transfer meeting. I always wished we could just sing on and on. 

The firmest hand I ever loved to shake

Was my trainer's with that big grin on his face

He grabbed my bag and put his arm round me

And whispered "I'm gonna work those Mr. Macs right off your feet!

Those fist few days after leaving the MTC were definitely memorable. Missing our connecting flight to Tennessee (no fault of ours) and having to sleep at a hotel without any of our bags (all had been checked earlier) made our trip quite interesting. But we finally made it in the same clothes and appearance as the day before. And then I met Sister Oldroyd and Carson - my sweet trainers! Although they did not work my shoes off my feet or anything, they taught me so much, and so did every one of my companions: Sister Weeks, Sumbot, Laws, Phillips, Orchard, Dillon, Johnson, my MTC comp Sister Svedin, as well as all my sister training leaders, fellow district members, President and Sister Andersen, and many others. They taught me how to tract, be myself, love the people, lose myself in the work, be exactly obedient, adjust to missionary life, talk with everyone, embrace the awkward, use the iPad, give trainings, role play, receive revelation, use time wisely, serve, teach, testify, meet investigators needs, ask inspired questions, plan, find, have faith, simplify, follow the spirit, recognize the spirit, understand and use the scriptures, laugh, have fun, cry, be weird, set goals, achieve goals, study, pray, improve myself, write in my journal, be unified, be positive, see the hand of God, listen, be patient, be humble, repent, give it my all, love myself, use the Atonement, follow the will of the Lord, love the Lord, and come closer to my Savior Jesus Christ. They taught me how to be a missionary!

And hardest tears I've ever loved to cry

Spill as I opened up my mouth to testify

Within the tiny walls of a strangers living room,

The spirit told their hearts my words were true.

What an incredible joy it is to be an instrument in the hands of God. To be able to testify to His children that God lives, that He loves us. To testify of Jesus Christ, and of the Restored church, that families can be together forever and so many other truths of the gospel! And then to see that testimony bring the Spirit, and to see people's hearts change because you were that vessel - there's just no words for it.

And the wonderful sound I've ever heard

Is the sound of water running in the church

As someone I've come to love got dressed in white

And my eyes saw their first glimpse of heavens light.

 

You know, I didn't personally see many baptisms on my mission, but I've come to realize that baptisms really aren't what's important and the joy is the WORK. The joy has come people have let us in, listened, as they've said they read the Book of Mormon, when I've seen investigators or less active members come to church, it's when people have said "yes", when they become green in the area book (to show them as "progressing"). We currently have 5 progressing investigators and 2 baptism dates. We set a date with Baylee yesterday for February 27...that was wonderful! And this week when Carlos and Ivan bore their testimonies, when Kyle said he would live the Word of Wisdom, when Bailey came to church and Josh read in the Book of Mormon. Little fruits. Incredible happiness! The joy has come in the process, not in the end result.

The hardest thing I've ever come to see

Is a man down on his knees in agony

A drop of blood falls down on olive leaves

And for a moment, he suffers there for me.

Of everything that I have learned on my mission, the most important thing was the power of the Atonement. Jesus Christ suffered and died for ME and that is why I am writing this letter today. The enabling power of the atonement, the part of the atonement that gives us the strength to do what we cannot do on our own gave me the strength to come on a mission. And it gave me the strength to endure all the hard things about a mission. I've had doors slammed in my face, my faith has been tested, I've doubted, I've wanted to quit, my whole body has ached from walking and biking, I've been sick, confused, yelled at, rejected, embarrassed, tired, stressed, heartbroken, and a million other things. Yes, I have suffered, but my Savior suffered with me. He carried me through every one of those times. He did that because of His perfect, unconditional love for me and all of Heavenly Father's children. 

The hardest thing I've ever loved to do,

Was getting on this plane and coming home to you.

In a million ways completely torn apart

As a land so far away still owns my heart

Tennessee will forever own my heart. I love my mission so much. My heart is breaking. I will be leaving some of it here with these amazing children of God. Leaving my mission is so much harder than leaving home because when you are a missionary you catch a small glimpse of the love that Heavenly Father has for His children and you can feel it. Words just can't describe that love that He has for each an every one of us. I've only caught a glimpse of it and yet, I can't tell you how it feels. But I know that it's REAL. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love each and every one of us more than we could EVER comprehend!

The most sincere prayer I ever prayed

I thank my God for each and every day

For the blessing of the man I've come to be

As walk up and kiss my momma's cheek

I have so much to be grateful for and I don't think I can ever describe to you how I feel about my mission and how much I love it. I feel like Ammon in Alma 26:16 "I cannot say the smallest part which I feel." I don't know how to help you understand how I feel but I'll tell you what I DO know. I know this church is true. I know that it is the same church that Jesus Christ himself set up when he was on the earth, and that it was restored after being lost through Joseph Smith, a modern day prophet called by God. I know that Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in a grove of trees in 1820 and that through him, the priesthood was brought back to earth as well as the fullness of the gospel. I know that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon by the power of God. I know that the Book of Mormon is true - it is the word of God, the most correct book of any book on earth. I know it with my whole soul and I can never deny that. I know that we have a true and living prophet on the earth today who leads and guides us just as prophets did anciently. I know that Jesus Christ is the Savior or the world. I know that He lived and died so that all of God's children can live again. I know that He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for every sin and negative thing that I have felt and will ever feel, as well as for every child of God. I know that the Atonement covers all. It is infinite and eternal. I know that it has the power to help us to do everything we can't do on our own. I have seen that for myself. And I know that it will continue to do so. I know that Jesus Christ, my Savior, lives. "He Lives! All glory to His name! He lives, my Savior, still the same. Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: 'I know that my Redeemer lives!'". In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Love,

Sister Kaylee Myers

Song lyrics from the Nashville Tribute Band